It's a war. And the one person who could take my side, takes the other... Because it's safer, easier. Because standing up for me risks you standing up for yourself and that is something that you have forgotten how to do.
It's a war out there. Everyday people are disowned, forgotten, murdered, left behind, attacked- for something they believe in, something they feel strongly about. Something they have vocalised or expressed and the bullets are fired. And where are the people standing up for them?
I don't like being here. This war is everyday. This war breaks me down and I am chewing iron nails and grabbing at that tight feeling in my chest. It's mostly a war of words- a power struggle. But standing up has become difficult. My voice is at risk of being taken and that's all I have had to survive this war. That, and sleep. The sleep that never comes.
To that person that refuses to stand up for me, with me, the person that watches the war and takes the safe side. To that person who thinks it's honourable to join in- raise the gun and fire, to you I want to say- I hope you find your voice. I hope that when you finally mouth the words that tighten your chest- that you will be a free man.
It's about doing what you think is right, standing up for what you believe, for those you believe in.
They can take my freedom. My honour. My voice. My speech. But they can never take my words from me.
I hope the war ends for you. I hope someone stands up for you and fights for you, I hope someone fights for your cause.
To you- the person on the battlefield- I hope that whatever is in your heart, that what are you doing doesn't result in you standing a winner, but alone. I hope you realise what are you doing before it's too late and know- even if they didn't stand up for you, that you know how I feel, because you have been there too and that you stop- because you have the power too.
You can fire your very last bullet and kill. Or you can bury your gun and stand free. You have words... I wish you would choose to use them wisely.
The tea cup is half empty today
xo
Crys
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Friday, September 3, 2010
regret and being a kid
It's 3AM and I feel I need some sleep, but my mind is spinning to its own music...
Been a crazy week- wonder how much one is expected to cram, organise and get done before you show that human quality that people love to hate: burnout. Freak out. Running at a millions miles an hour while moving in slow motion. And the ice cream starts to slip off the cone... ;)
Life seems to have its little rarities: the compliment on your new outfit... Someone lending a hand when the books are falling out of your arms, free parking... Oh- and jumping castles. I will always have an inner child I suppose- and if they try and tell me being a fan of cartoons and bubbles and bubblegum ice cream and jumping castles is wrong, I will be forced to eat more bubblegum ice cream. With a fork.
Spring's here and the weather is lovely. Green leaves, pretty colours and losing THAT look that makes me look far more insulated than I like to believe I am ;)
Spring, along with its hay fever and change-of-the-season colds, reminds me of change at its best- longer days, bright colours, pretty dresses and a chance to curl your toes in hot beach sand.
Find the little joys of life this week- even if its free parking or R2 off your toothpaste. Value the little things, old and faded (vintage in some sense if you wish), the pretty and the pretty weird.
Eat too many doughnuts and live a little more each day and don't wish time away.
Hug the sad stranger and don't let society's cruel and unkind judgement keep you from making a difference.
A life changing experience has made me far more conscious about life. Although it is somewhat annoying, I want to hang onto the idea of taking nothing for granted, before it slips and I am oblivious to that which is really mine.
Do I regret anything? Yes. Would I do this all over if I had the chance? I doubt it. I wouldn't be me and rationalise or think or doubt the way I do if it wasn't for that which has shaped my personality and defined me as the person I am today.
I like to think of myself as this; a wooden block being chiseled. My influences- good or bad- the sculptors. I wish some people would put the chisel down...
I want to live without regrets and know my words are not mean or hurtful. I will try to be the artist I need to be in society, not the one I am expected to be.
Say I love you, sorry and thank you as often as you wish. But please do mean them. Few enough words stay true to their meanings these days. <3
The teacup is half empty, half full
xo
Crys
Been a crazy week- wonder how much one is expected to cram, organise and get done before you show that human quality that people love to hate: burnout. Freak out. Running at a millions miles an hour while moving in slow motion. And the ice cream starts to slip off the cone... ;)
Life seems to have its little rarities: the compliment on your new outfit... Someone lending a hand when the books are falling out of your arms, free parking... Oh- and jumping castles. I will always have an inner child I suppose- and if they try and tell me being a fan of cartoons and bubbles and bubblegum ice cream and jumping castles is wrong, I will be forced to eat more bubblegum ice cream. With a fork.
Spring's here and the weather is lovely. Green leaves, pretty colours and losing THAT look that makes me look far more insulated than I like to believe I am ;)
Spring, along with its hay fever and change-of-the-season colds, reminds me of change at its best- longer days, bright colours, pretty dresses and a chance to curl your toes in hot beach sand.
Find the little joys of life this week- even if its free parking or R2 off your toothpaste. Value the little things, old and faded (vintage in some sense if you wish), the pretty and the pretty weird.
Eat too many doughnuts and live a little more each day and don't wish time away.
Hug the sad stranger and don't let society's cruel and unkind judgement keep you from making a difference.
A life changing experience has made me far more conscious about life. Although it is somewhat annoying, I want to hang onto the idea of taking nothing for granted, before it slips and I am oblivious to that which is really mine.
Do I regret anything? Yes. Would I do this all over if I had the chance? I doubt it. I wouldn't be me and rationalise or think or doubt the way I do if it wasn't for that which has shaped my personality and defined me as the person I am today.
I like to think of myself as this; a wooden block being chiseled. My influences- good or bad- the sculptors. I wish some people would put the chisel down...
I want to live without regrets and know my words are not mean or hurtful. I will try to be the artist I need to be in society, not the one I am expected to be.
Say I love you, sorry and thank you as often as you wish. But please do mean them. Few enough words stay true to their meanings these days. <3
The teacup is half empty, half full
xo
Crys
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